Merfy-Lou's Musings

30 Things: Day 24

on October 21, 2012

Describe your family dynamics from your childhood vs your family dynamics now.

As a child, I was what some would consider a “goody-twoshoes” and a know-it-all.  While I still possess these characteristics, I think I’ve taken a step back and can control them better.

My family growing up was awesome.  My brothers and I didn’t always listen when it came time to do our chores, but generally we listened to our parents.  We got most everything we wanted without too much hard work.  I don’t know if it’s true, but it I don’t feel like I confided in my parents enough.  I think having a computer created a barrier and I would seek the help of strangers before asking my parents.   But at the same time, I remember calling my mom at work daily to ask her something that couldn’t wait.  (My childhood was before texting).  I always knew my dad loved me, even if it seemed like he loved my brothers and their sports more.  After I started dating my now hubby, my dad would as me “Sex, drugs or alcohol??”  And the answer was always “NONE! Why do you torture me?”  But I know he was just trying to make sure my moral compass was right.  I was one of those strange kids who didn’t drink alcohol before their 21st birthday.

I wasn’t close to either of my brothers either.  I always blamed getting glasses and gaining weight as the culprit of this, but who knows.  I just wasn’t quite as athletic as they were and I hated going to their football practices for 2 hours a night, every single night.  As we got older, I remember crying a lot because my brothers would fight over everything.  I’d scream at them “Why can’t you just be friends?!”  We just weren’t close.

We grew up with so much of our extended family around.  4/6 grandparents, almost always 6/10 aunts and uncles, and plenty of cousins.  I absolutely loved this.  I loved that we didn’t have to hire a babysitter or go to daycare because there was always a family member around to talk to.  I remember my two aunts asking me (on separate occasions) about growing up stuff and that if I ever needed someone to confide in, I could talk to them.  My grandmas taught me to do things, like quilt and cook or hard work earn a little money (filing papers for the Coast Guard stuff).  My grandpas taught us about hunting, shooting guns, building things and were just generally awesome.

Now, in this texting world, I don’t talk on the phone to my mom almost ever.  But, we still text all the time.  She’s the first person I ask about most everything.  I wish she lived closer so that we could have coffee dates and work on quilts together.  I never thought I’d live in a different state than my mom… Who is supposed to watch my babies in the future?! ❤  I definitely confide in my mom a lot more than I used to.

And I miss my dad too.  It’s a lot harder to explain mechanical issues with my truck when he isn’t next to me.  And while we never talked much, I do think that we talk more.  He always wants to know about my plans and dreams, which helps me to keep dreaming and planning.  I wish he’d move closer too, so I could learn to fix my own truck instead of paying a mechanic.

John and I still aren’t very close.  But I know we miss each other.  He gives me a hard time every time we do talk.  And he likes to show his love frequently.  I have a feeling he’ll be like one of my uncles who went of the grid for a few years to learn some mistakes and then come back a better man.  He’s a strong worker and I admire that.  (Also, I’m a little jealous that he makes waaaayyyy more money than me.)

Michael and I aren’t close either.  We talk a little more frequently than John and I do though.  He’s got a good stubborn head on his shoulders and I admire that.  I miss his hugs and the way he always makes sense when I’m being an idiot.  I hope he does all of the good things he talks about.

And now, I have a hubby!  We love each other, even if I snap at him and he makes fun of me.  He takes care of me and I absolutely love him for that.  We’re both hard working people who can’t imagine being dirt poor and we realize what we can and can’t afford.  We have our goals for babies and a house a new car.

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