Merfy-Lou's Musings

On Halloween

on October 28, 2012

hal·low·een/ˌhaləˈwēn/

Noun:
The night of October 31, celebrated by children who dress in costume and solicit treats door-to-door.

Halloween makes me a little sad these days.  My hubby doesn’t really believe in dressing up or decorating for it, which makes me feel I don’t have his support if I were to decorate.  So, I gave up dressing up and trying to get him to do the same.  And let’s not even go into how Hubby doesn’t like to go out. Ever. Unless it’s to go play video games or watch sports.

The last two years, we handed out candy.  I spent probably close to $100 in candy last year, because we live in an apartment where the majority of the door-to-door walking is inside.  We had lots of trick-or-treaters and it it was super fun.  This year, I’m already fretting December and January’s rent and student loan payments, since I’ll be out of work for 7 days in November (Honeymoon for 5 and Thanksgiving for 2).

Then lets add in, that I don’t really hang out with anyone in Fairbanks.  I have friends, but it seems that facebook has taken over the way we socialize.  So, I don’t really get invited to go with a group of people to go anywhere (dressed up or not).  Seeing big groups of people I know at events, like the Pub’s Halloween Dances or going anywhere, really, dressed up, just makes me sad.  Wishing that I had what it takes to have the balls to go out by myself.  But even when I do go out by myself, I wind up leaving quickly because I don’t feel like I belong with anyone that I’m around.

And the last part of Halloween that makes me super sad, is I always miss my mom.  She was always this badass recreation of Darth Maul.  My mom loves Halloween and always wants to decorate and dress up and find all of the things to do related to Halloween.  Partially, I hope it’ll be better when we have kids.  Then, I hope I won’t feel silly just “doing Halloween” without Hubby. But we’ll see.

For now, I’ll just be avoiding the pictures of the un-social networks that make me sad.  And on Halloween, I’ll be going to the movies instead of greeting Trick-or-Treaters.

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